これは、あの殺人的な公爵に復讐しようという彼の願いを強めただけだ。

Sentence Discussions Japanese
#1
English Translation

This only increased his desire to be revenged on the murderous duke.

Very unnatural word-for-word translation although it’s understandable… My alternative translation is:

これでは、残忍な侯爵に対する彼の復讐心を煽ったに過ぎない。（これでは、ざんにんなこうしゃくに対するかれのふくしゅうしんをあおったにすぎない。）

  • Starting from これは sounds very unnatural in Japanese.

  • Don’t translate “murderous” as 殺人的な in this context. 殺人的な is usually followed by an inanimate concept or object such as “craziness”, “eye” or “ideology”.

  • 復習しようという彼の願い is very wordy. 復讐心 is a frequent set phrase.

  • 復讐心 is usually followed by 燃える (もえる; be burnt), 煽られる (あおられる; be agitated) or 苛まれる (さいなまれる; suffer from). A strong flame for revenge inside him is ignited by a certain trigger. That’s the connotation of 復讐心を煽る (active form) or 復讐心に煽られる (passive form).

  • 煽ったに過ぎない is interchangeable with 煽っただけだ. But ～に過ぎない is closer to “merely”, and this “made even worse” is the connotation behind ～に過ぎない. I believe ～に過ぎない works better with the nuance of “murderous” duke and “revenge”.

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