wtf?! this expression makes no sense at all… 
“I believe my pig whistles.” is an idiom that conveys disbelief.
Example:
Hey, I just got a letter from a Nigerian prince. I’ve inherited a fortune. I’m going to be rich!
Yeah, right. I believe my pig whistles.
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Love it, like “I’ll believe that when pigs fly.” Germans are more practical, surely you can teach a pig to whistle, but to fly? Das ist ja blödsinn. lol
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I’m a native English speaker, but American English, and I don’t know this expression “Blow me down!” Is this British? Or archaic?
It’s both British and archaic - it’s an old sailor’s expression. I believe it’s related to the expression “you could knock me down with a feather”, meaning that I’m so shocked by what I just heard, that I’m very close to fainting, and so it would be very easy to knock me down or to “blow me down” (i.e. just breathe on me and I’ll fall over).
This expression was briefly popularized in North America with the old Popeye the Sailor Man cartoons (“blow me down! shiver me timbers!”), but it never really caught on beyond that, and I haven’t heard it much since I was a kid.
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